So I have no idea why but some anonymous person was desperately trying to get a hold of me last night. I received 3 phone calls in a roll at 1:30 am with some guy professing his love for me (no idea who). Then said person was kind enough to also call me at 3:30, 5:30, and 7 am. You´d think if it was impt. enough to call me so damn many times, then it is impt. enough to leave a message - or at least a name. I mean it is only common phone courtesy, no?
No folks...I am talking about animal intelligence. I tell you recent experience has taught me to edit my thoughts around animals -- they have this uncanny way of sensing exactly how and what you are feeling/thinking. Case in point last night I was in the kitchen with my host family´s cat. Now this cat is old, quite fat and always seems to have this sour expression on her face as if the world has down her wrong. However I kind of find her bad attitude and singular unattractiveness charming in a strange sort of way (society always makes allowances for the elderly I guess). Well I looked at her and all this was going through my mind and I laughed at her. BIG MISTAKE. As I passed her she hissed at me (a first for her) and swatted me good right in the outer thigh area. Her claws sunk right through my dress pants and into the skin below. Now I´ve been scratched by cats before but I tell you this "little kitty" knew what she´s about -- it was no playful swipe, it was a straight out "bitch you betta not disrespect this" jab. And believe me next time I won´t.
Ok so irony is the key word in today's blog. Here is the brief rundown -
Monday - I remark to my dear friend Hudson that I was not looking where I was going that morning and walked straight into the sliding glass doors. She warns me to be careful because it is not made of templated (safety) glass and if it were to break it could literally cut me to pieces.
Tuesday - I have drinks with my friend Carlos from my salsa class and I explain to him how horribly clumsy I am but it is not really my fault because I was born on Friday, the 13th. Spurs a conversation about the number 13 - how/why it is unlucky, etc.
Thursday...guess what it is the 13th. - I wake up (very late due to a long night of consumption) and walk over to the dining room table (about 3 x 6 feet in size and made of glass). Well on top of the table sits a lap-top computer. I walk to said computer and hit the start button and all of a sudden the table EXPLODES! That's right into thousands of small pieces when there was no crack or anything in the glass and I wasn't even touching it! Luckily it is made of you guessed it, templated glass - which is why I only have a few cuts on my legs and feet.
Geez -- what are the chances of that happening to a person?...Well, I guess if we are talking about me, considerably more than most.
p.s. that evening I also sustained the following injuries in dance class -
- I got bashed in the nose by the elbow of my dance partner
- Next partner during a dance move pushes my hand which flys out and hits the wall where hangs a painting with a sharp edge that cuts and bruises my hand...believe me I couldn't wait for this night to be over.
I am pleased to announce that my dear friend and former roomie, Hill (as known as "H," Hdawg, or Hillbilly Hound) will be arriving this evening to join me for a few days (and crazy nights) in BA. I´m sure that we will be able to stir up the city and cause some damage. Stay tuned to see how the city fares under our assault...
Just like to send a shot out to my favorite Italian boy whose b-day is today (well in Italy it is already the 28th). Happy Birthday you young Italian stud!!! What is it 18? Ahhh if only you were older and not my former roomie's brother...
So I decided to spend part of Sunday afternoon doing the "tourist" thing. I got out my little map book and decided to visit the Recoleta cemetary and the feria. So there I was on the sidewalk looking lost and innocent (that's just my way) and of course I was approached my some "gentleman" who asked if he could help me (ha, ha, all part of my evil plan!). Anyways said gentleman takes it upon himself to personally escort me to the cemetary and explain parts and areas of the city as we walk along. Now do I know he has some sort of hidden agenda? Well maybe I have an idea but is it really my fault that he may be arriving at erroneous decisions? So I smile and nod while I enjoy my little tour and wait for the perhaps inevitable dreaded move. I tried to be careful, keep my distance and avoid any type of body contact. I thought perhaps I would be safe, I mean is there anyplace less romantic than a cemetary? But of course true to Argentine form he moved in --> and I moved away, no way was anything happening. We talked for a while longer, he walked me to the bus stop and tried to get my info. But timing is everything in this world and this was eloquently demostrated when at that moment my bus arrived. Later upon reflection would I have done the same? Maybe, maybe not...But damn it was a good tour.
I came across this photo and it made me smile. I love gay boys..what else is there to say?
My nightly bed companions in BA. Uma insists on sleeping under the blankets while Vega likes to stretch out beside me or next to my pillow. Once they deem that I had a sufficient amout of sleep I am treated to much face licking and nudging til one or the other of us surrenders and abandons the bed...so far it is humiliating to say that I am being beaten by two small dogs.
There is a question that I have come to hate and recognize as the death knell to any conversation that I am having with a person of the opposite sex with whom I am enjoying a pleasant intercourse (and I mean that in the most innocent of terms - you know an exchange of information rather than of bodily fluids).
DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
Geez, how do you correctly respond to this question? -- Especially if you have found yourself in the middle of some kind of vague unclassified relationship (not saying that is the case with me but...) ? First off if you are not interested in the individual - in the romantic sense - this sets off the warning bell that this person is probably interested in you so is the appropriate response to:
A. Say no but let them know right away in no uncertain terms that there is no way in hell that you would be interested in dating them (but you know in a kind of polite way).
B. Say yes you do have a boyfriend that works out three times a day and is intensely jealous and ohhh look here he comes now...
C. Explain how your last boyfriend broke your heart and left you with two sets of twins to raise all on your own (if you can make your eyes water and voice break during the telling it is all for the better).
And the correct answer is:
D. All of the above. Once this question works its way into the conversation friendship with the said individual is out of the question. Choose whichever response will give you the most hoots and giggles and have fun with it.
Other potential fun responses could be:
A. I am a lesbian -- dangerous though because this tends to attract guys even more.
B. Let them know that you don't have a boyfriend, that you are searching for that certain someone that completes you - your soulmate. You are really looking for someone sensible and steady to love one another forever, settle down and raise a family with (you want at least 5 {more} children). You are ready to get married...actually you feel a really strong bond with him - does he feel it too?...(get the picture?)
C. No your boyfriend died in a tragic motorcycle collision with a Pace Picante Sauce truck last month (enter tears and voice breaking) now you feel closest to him whenever you dance salsa - excuse yourself.
Accidents and maladies happen every day I guess. But jeez they do seem to happen EVERYDAY to me. Believe me that is only a slight exaggeration. I have now been in BA for 15 days. In that time I have sustained the following:
1. Two cases of food poisoning
2. One eye infection (swollen, red and painful for 3 days)
3. Two dog bites (that have broken the skin)
4. Narrowly missed being hit by car 3 times (literally feeling the wind rush by the legs as the car passes me by)
Ah, each day a new adventure, stay tuned in to hear about my continual death-defying experiences...
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